Steve's Sanitorium

Back Again

2009-11-28T17:33:05Z

Greetings everyone,

It has been over a month since my last post to this blog, and even longer since I wrote about something other than Blart Radio. Regular readers will know that I'm a man of few words and don't write unless there is a good reason for it. Follow my Twitter updates if you really want to keep up with the more mundane facets of my life. To summarize for those of you who don't want to do so, I packed up my belongings and moved to the Midwest at the end of October. The majority of November has been filled with getting my personal and financial affairs in order, setting up the new apartment, and attending some training that I'm hoping will turn into lucrative work.

My busy schedule has consequently kept me mostly offline with a few small exceptions. Frankly, I prefer it, and that's very likely to continue. There really is a life to live in the real world, after all. One aspect of my internet existence which wil be coming back, however, is Blart Radio. Barring any technical difficulties, I will be back on the air tonight at 8:00 EST on TBRN. Tonight's show will be a test to see 1) how well the broadcast setup works in the new place and 2) learn whether or not I can sustain a reasonably hi-phi sound over my mobile phone's 3G connection. Verizon DSL, or "big boy internet," won't be installed until the end of next week at the earliest, so we will make do with what's available until then. If you want all of the details on what we've been up to and to hear the collection of music and banter that only Blart Radio can bring, tune in tonight at 8:00. if you can't make it, we should have an archive ready by, you guessed it, the end of next week. Hope to see you all there.

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Blart Radio for October 17, 2009

2009-10-18T04:21:51Z

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On this week's installment:

After our opening track, a listener suggests an excellent way to run a radio station into the ground.

A report released this week shows that U.S. broadband is among the slowest and most expensive in the world. How do your speeds compare to ours?

We later begin our tribute to balloons by going up, up, and away in a beautiful.... motor boat?

If you are an iPhone user, listen up. An excerpt from a BBC program sent in by TBRN's owner gives a perspective contrary to Apple's marketing fud.

A call then follows to explain why wifi on cell phones is actually beneficial.

It seems that Corona, everyone's favorite four-year-old, may have been born on the streets of NYC.

Find out where the host of "The Farhan Show" has gone.

Is Led Zeppelin's "Four Sticks" sped up? One listener insists the CD version is, and we insist that it's only Robert Plant's vocals that are put through helium.

Karen's mom celebrated a birthday this week. A special dedication is played that even appalls Venison88.

We experience some technical difficulties during the broadcast. Although nothing major, it becomes necessary to explain by blaming the seven-year-old desktop.

John playing with a helium balloon follows, complete with an interruption from some dogs who are unhappy that pizza has arrived.

Ever wondered what "Sweet Georgia Brown" sounded like when a tractor was used for the percussion? Wonder no more.

Venison88 sends us a track that showcases the typical NYC nightlife.

John's gurgly stomach makes a few appearances.

We finally close out the show with a listener request and an older bit appropriate to some recent news in the assistive technology industry.

That wraps it up for this week. Life is becoming quite busy on the personal front, so we may or may not be around next Saturday. Keep an eye on the TBRN messengers to see when we're next on the air.

Blart Radio for October 10, 2009

2009-10-11T03:34:10Z

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On this week's more unusual episode:

Ed starts out the show by singing the typical introductory music from the shower. Note his weight from the talking scale.

After our first song, we point out that Steve is actually perfectly normal for the rest of the week when he isn't on the air. Unfortunately, you folks usually only hear him when he's in show host mode.

One of our listener's busted her earbuds yesterday. We reflect on an unfortunate incident involving some expensive earbuds and a toilet bowl.

We make some jazz album recommendations per a listener's request.

When Karen joins us, we update you all with the final total raised last week for the Crop Hunger Walk.

Why was one of our listener's looking at a transvestite's chestal anatomy?

Some long forgotten morons from Dallas try to inflict themselves upon the show.

After an instructional jazzy song break, we play a hurricane excerpt to commemorate a massive storm that killed 50,000 people in the Caribbean today in 1780.

We next turn to the cloning part of the show. Find out first hand how 32 Belchy McGas and Corona clones sound.

Listeners call and write in with ideas about possible arcade games based on Brian, a longtime listener known for his alter egos.

We next discuss old, cheaply made handheld videogames from the early 1990's.

The Ed choir? Yes; it's real, and has 128 members. It's intriguing and disturbing proof that I need less time on my hands.

Karen's brother has a unique use for the latest Bop It "shout it!" command.

Another listener calls in to describe how the PC-based Bop It game works.

We finally close out the show with a new jazzy cover of an Eagles classic and a clip of the Franklin Language Master.

Believe it or not, we didn't get to the content we had originally planned for this show. The next episode is sure to be a doozy, so drop on by this Saturday night to hear it first hand. You won't be sorry you did.

Blart Radio for October 3, 2009

2009-10-05T01:49:07Z

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In this week's episode:

We are accepting donations for tomorrow's Crop Hunger Walk. We outline what listeners can win several times through the show. You can click here to donate to the cause.

Thanks to the marvels of modern technology, Karen and Corona now join us in much higher quality.

Derek writes in, and several listeners agree, that the first track we played sounds like Power Rangers music.

One of the attempts we make to encourage donations involves Ed spouting suggestive sentences. When the CHW received something, Ed would shut up. It worked.

We reach into the live stash of Seamus Kennedy and replay his rendition of "Whiskey in the Jar" followed by some tasteless police jokes.

Karen's pets now have Halloween costumes. Find out what they are and how one of the dogs reacted.

Sami, AKA Ripples, tends to eat everything she can reach. This miniature pincher has been known to eat entire large cakes in a matter of minutes. She ate so much last weekend that she ended up in the vet's office for three days.

We next turn to amusing stories about some of our not-so-tall hosts and listeners.

We play a Spike Jones tune dedicated to our grandpa's wife who turned 90 last week and to Patrick's grandmother who turns 86 today.

Seamus Kennedy is back again to demonstrate his amazing yodling abilities.

Tristan, AKA Mr. Brown, next races a pack of horses to warm up for the big ten-mile walk tomorrow.

We then flashback to last year's olympics to listen to 8 clones of Ed race to take a nap.

To fulfill a caller's request, we then play the isolated recording of all eight Eds running.

We then play a ten-second preview of 'Beer on a String," a song Corona recorded last May but which we haven't yet played to solicit some additional donations.

Social Security is good, but beware getting real employment. Even if you are only temporarily employed, SSA will punish you for years to come for the meager income you managed to scrape together.

Karen and I next talk about an amusing but flamboyant waiter we encountered at a local Red Robin restaurant near her home.

We then take a two-hour break for "Things and Stuff," although the archive only has two seconds of silence instead.

For privacy's sake, I skillfully removed Karen's E-mail address from the archive. I play the alteration live on the air.

Since we reached one of our donation goals tonight, we're back to play the entirety of 'Beer on a String."

For good measure, we also play "The Garbage Song."

A listener then calls in to note that TBRN archives and automation have returned. They will remain available assuming that listeners don't further abuse the system.

What is "Man vs. Printer?" The road to victory, perhaps?

Corona's rendition of Seamus Kennedy's "Beer Song" concludes this week's extended episode.

You guys donated over $100 tonight, and we want to sincerely thank all of you on behalf of the hungry folks who will receive your donations this Fall. Our sincere thanks also go out to Patrick of "Things and Stuff" for granting us some serious air time to promote the fund raiser, and definitely to Krista, one of our loyal listeners. Many of the donations we raised were a direct result of her enthusiastic activity on Twitter. Even though our promotion has ended, we still encourage you to donate. We don't see a cent of this money, and it goes directly to a good cause. Every little bit helps.

And with that, we're out for another week. See you folks next Saturday.

Blart Radio for September 25, 2009

2009-10-05T01:48:11Z

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On this week's jam-packed edition:

We're back in the main Blart Radio studios this week with lots of new music and live recordings from last week's Irish festival.

A listener's ten-year-old brother managed to get himself kicked off of the Disney website with excessive foul language. We aren't sure to be impressed or saddened.

Gumbo in the Midwest? One listener likes to make the southern-borne dish.

Chili's no longer sells its award-winning broccoli-cheese soup. Why is this such a big deal?

We discuss an aging ramble John E-mailed to many of our high school contemporaries at May 2, 2003 at 1:53 AM.

We start off the rewind to last week's Irish festival with some religious jokes and Mexicanesque tunes from the one and only Seamus Kennedy.

Next, Vertical Horizon's new album was released this past Tuesday. Even though Karen managed to score the only copy in town, we still manage to play a song from the new record.

We describe the horror that is an old woman directing Irish dancers to the poorly timed music of an accordian player with MIDI drums to back him up.

John has never heard the Crystal Lite jingle. So bring in.... Clorox Lite?

After we play some more new music that was released this last Tuesday, Seamus Kennedy returns with "The Sow Song."

Find out why the preceding Thursday and Friday were so long for Karen and me.

Our nephew is developing quite an accent. Listen to some examples of his speech as interpreted by we so-called adult hosts.

Seamus is back to sing about Finigan's wake, or as he puts it, "a nice lovely Irish song about death."

Seamus next performs the now famous "Beer Song." Note the very drunk midwestern guy behind us on the right.

Of course, "The Barley Mow" must follow, and it does.

After some more recently released music, we discuss our Simpsons references and promise to try to tone them down a bit in the future.

We next wait for a minute past, play an appropriate dedication to a listener's younger brother, and top off the show with Seamus's take on a Benny Bell classic about Chicago.

What a fun two hours this was. We have even more to get to next week, so come back then for even more good times.

Blart Radio for September 14, 2009

2009-10-05T01:47:20Z

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On this week's special remote edition of the show:

This week's episode comes to you straight from Karen's place.

I detail the overly adventurous trek I took to Michigan. I think I will avoid American Airlines from now on because of constant mechanical issues with their aircraft. The beautiful motor boat across the lake made up for the inconvenience, however.

Of all the bands that should have stopped making music, Megadeath is releasing a new record tomorrow.

I next tell a true story of Ed nearly being run over by someone's vehicle after devouring a plate full of barbecue ribs.

Oh the things we overhear while hanging around outside Karen's house. They're vulgar, and we tell you all about it.

Seamus Kennedy next sings to us about Sarah and her various occupations over the years. Ed and Corona wind up joining in with their own interpretations of the lyrics.

Enjoy another audio adventure with "Fat Man," the city's greatest superhero.

What's Fat Albert doing on the wrong side of the tracks?

Say "wazzup" to freestylin' Ed.

We said good-bye to "King of the Hill" last night. Its replacement? Yet another Seth MacFarlin take on "Family Guy."

Ed next does a special, techno/dance jig for us.

We next play a song that inevitably keeps popping up on Karen's iPod while she works out every day.

We talk about the stupid stunt Canye West pulled at the MTV awards last night and play a paste-job someone created that had him interrupting President Obama instead of Taylor Swift.

Given Ed's thick accent, how is his name really pronounced? Ed or Ay-ad?

A couple of classic Benny Bell tunes round out the show.

Thanks for tuning into this week's show. We will be at the local Irish festival making all sorts of recordings this weekend, but we will be back to share the auditory goodness on the following weekend. Can't wait to see you then.

Blart Radio for September 5, 2009

2009-10-05T01:46:23Z

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On this week's gripping episode:

What used to be "The Louis Bin" has changed quite a bit. With three hosts, we figure the show is due for a new title. We present a few listener-submitted suggestions.

Netbooks. Why should you get one, and why would you want to avoid one?

Maria, the listener whose cat ran away last week, has a new one who needs a name.

After many years, Karen finally has a proper bed.

Sam Houston became the president of the Texas Republic in 1836. An appropriate dedication is played.

John and I went out for wings yesterday. Hear the misadventure and irksome conclusion that resulted from the 3-mile trek.

What is, and is not, peanut butter?

Did you know that a tour company holds a patent for the sound made by duck-calls made by customers while conducting tours? Our very own Mr. Duck reads an excerpt from the article that explains.

We read another brief excerpt explaining how the UK's equivalent to the RIAA, unsurprisingly, doesn't know how to count.

We introduce a product that all apocolyptic paranoids must have: tactical bacon. We describe what it is, where to get it, and how long it remains edible on the shelf.

We next play some apocolyptic-related music followed by the single from Vertical Horizon's upcoming album.

Finally, today marks the tenth aniversarry of the formation of our first high school band. We play a couple of songs we wrote.

That wraps it up for this week. I leave town in a few days, so the Blart Radio schedule will be somewhat lopsided until I return. We will be back with some great content you won't want to miss. Keep an eye on the TBRN messengers. See you soon.

Blart Radio for August 29, 2009

2009-10-05T01:45:26Z

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Here's a summary of what happened in this week's episode.

We're back after a two-week break in which I lost my voice.

John and I are a year older today. I try to skim over this fact, but the listeners are too considerate to let me get away with it.

Who is "Fat Man," and who is "Stupid Man?"

A listener's cat, Hunter, ran away this week.

Karen's apathetic white cat has been lately obsessed with hanging out in the rain.

We welcome a new show, "Audiotrosity," to TBRN's Friday night lineup.

Hear about a horrible concoction John created involving fresh bacon, bologna, queso dip, old tortillas, and a microwave.

Meet "Fat Man," the super hero.

Why does Seamus Kennedy want to be a dog?

Learn about what happened when Karen and Joseli, a regular listener, met at a camp as children.

Who is the gigantic ten-year-old that Joseli is watching?

John and I got some very amusing and raunchy birthday cards from our relatives. We demo one and describe the other on the air.

Check out the gloriousness that are the redneck wind chimes hanging on our office door.

After playing a tribute to toenails and being easily embarrassed, we play a tasteless dedication to the late Ted Kennedy.

We play with two isolations I made earlier this week of "Old Gray Mare" and answer a question that has been on my mind for years.

We hear a great and offensive bit poking fun at blindness and America's utter stereotypical stupidity regarding the subject.

An excerpt from a Rivers West gig is played from the perspective of the dugout bench at a local baseball game from the previous week.

Karen and I have been reading a lot of audio books lately. We discuss the narrators we enjoy, and I try to immitate them.

I say "hello" to the birthday beer as John says good-bye.

We next turn to canes and how easily they can be destroyed by mindless pedestrians.

Finally, the TSA has issued new rediculous rules about seizing laptops of international travelers. Fellow Americans, let's watch as our privacy continues to erode under the poorly disguised excuse for fighting terrorism.

That's it for another week and another month. See you next in September.

Blart Radio for August 15, 2009

2009-10-05T01:44:38Z

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In this week's episode:

Recall the bees that were found last week? Apparently, they came back and flew amuck. They are now all gone after another bout with insect spray.

We finally fixed the phone system and can once again take calls.

Patrick calls in with a description of a hare drinking.... hair?

We next play some tracks about haggling, beards, and haggling for a beard.

Listen as we spontaneously make a bee-based Simpsons-themed ringer.

We also demonstrate some previously made ringers and have a little too much fun with them in Sound Forge.

The first Sony walkman turned 30 this week. We discuss it and read an article describing how surprisingly ignorant today's iPod generation is.

dogs are evidently more intelligent than we previously thought. On average, your dog reasons like a 2-year-old, can perform basic math, and learn around 165 words and gestures.

We next play songs about working 24 hours a day, messages from dead rock stars, and hear warnings about dangerous flat blue acid.

We rant again about the local transportation issues in this part of the state.

We also take note of all the new internet radio stations with more or less the same station, host, and show names.

Venison88 writes in to tell us about a restaurant that serves flaming fillet of yack.

John will now be known as "DJ Boobity-boobity-boobity-boobity-boobity-boo."

Amusing audio stutters due to our crossfader round out this episode.

That's it for this week. Take care until next time.

This week on Blart Radio: Donate and Win

2009-10-03T01:40:52Z

October is upon us once more, and that means it's time for the anual crop hunger walk. amazingstar will be walking ten miles with her big brown dog, Tristan, and they are seeking donations that will go directly to organizations which aid in the fight against world hunger.

What, you may be asking yourselves, does this have to do with this week's episode of Blart Radio? Simple, my friends. To help raise some money, we will be accepting donations during the entire TBRN Saturday lineup. Based on how much is received, we will play or give away the following to all donors:

Amount	Gift
$100	We will play a never before heard song by our four-year-old alcoholic, "Beer on a String" on the show.
$150	In addition to the above, each donor will receive a copy of "Beer on a String."
$200	In addition to the above, each donor will receive a copy of "The Garbage Song."
Individual donations > $50	Donor's choice of the lossless version of "Beer on a String" or "The Garbage Song."

If you don't know what these songs are or why being able to share them with you is such a milestone, scroll down this blog and grab Blart Radio for March 28, 2009 for all the details.

Ready to donate? Great. Click here to donate to Tristan.

Before I sign off, I must once again stress that none of us at TBRN will see a single cent of this money. All donations go immediately to fight world hunger. So if you don't want to donate to keep us running, at least spare something for your fellow man. Every bit helps.

Thanks, and see you all tomorrow night.

A Special, Early Edition of Blart Radio Tonight

2009-09-25T22:52:00Z

Greetings,

Those of you who keep an eye on this blog and/or my occasional postings to Twitter likely know that things are a bit crazy for me right now, and will become even more so relatively soon. A side affect is that Blart Radio's consistent appearances on Saturday nights have gone somewhat by the way side. Like last Monday, there will be another special episode airing tonight at 9:00 EDT. I typically don't promote the show in advance, but in this instance I will make an exception.

Regular listeners know that we hosts are fans of the world renowned Irish comic, Seamus Kennedy. For years, we've alluded to his work and played some pieces throughout the show's run online. Last weekend, however, I finally managed to see him live and got to speak with him. Selections of his and other performances at the festival at which he appeared will be featured this evening, along with some great new music that I acquired. We of Blart Radio certainly hope you can join us tonight for a fun filled evening. Take note, however, that if you rely on the podcast feed to stay current with the show, you won't be able to listen to any new episodes of this or any other TBRN program until October 1. In other words, "you snooze, you lose." As usual, you can find links to listen to either the ogg or numerous mp3 feeds at The TBRN website.

See you all at 9.

Mixing up the Saturday TBRN lineup

2009-08-22T16:07:08Z

Due to a combination of what is probably food poisoning and a severe cold, my voice has been shot for the last few days. Quite naturally, there will be no Blart Radio tonight. Instead, amazingstar has graciously stepped up to the plate and will fill in with a Saturday-night episode of "The Mix." Tune in from 8-10 PM on TBRN to hear it. Today's broadcast schedule is otherwise unaffected. Expect a makeup show in the next couple of days when my voice has returned.

Blart Radio for August 8, 2009

2009-08-15T00:22:15Z

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Note: Each episode is often uploaded within an hour after the end of the live broadcast, even though I don't always have time to immediately post detailed show summaries. Avid listeners who want to listen to replays as soon as they are available are encouraged to subscribe to the show's RSS/podcast feed On the Blart Radio archives page.

In this week's installment:

If you want to rip music into formats compatible with the iPod and Rockbox-capable players, listen up. We detail the pitfalls to avoid and how we paid for some very poor assumptions (900 CDs later).

Long time internet radio listeners have probably encountered the music of Andre Louis without realizing it. After over seven years of releasing music into the public domain, he has finally put a CD together that contains higher quality remasters of some of his personal favorites. The album can be previewed and purchased right here.

Vertical Horizon has a pending album as well. Their independently produced record, "Burning the Days," will be available on September 22. You can preorder it from their website.

We next play the Vertical Horizon single available from the band's site. I contend, and think you will agree, that it is the best example of home recording I have yet to hear.

Karen next tells us all a delightful tale of unexpected bees that were found in her yard. An appropriate Simpsons excerpt follows.

Ninja, a character we introduced last week, is back to share some timeless wisdom.

Just into the second hour of the show, our two-year-old nephew unexpectedly shows up to say "night night" to both of our microphones.

I turned said nephew into a ringtone for someone very special.

We then introduce Old McDongle who hab a far.

John Hughs died this week. We play a song to commemorate his movie-making career and create some potentially awful show themes.

German pop, a lounge parody, and a smoke off make up a short musical break.

Karen devises twilters, realtime server-side filters for the Twitter messaging service. We hope such an idea can come to pass shortly, especially as more people sign up with, and abuse, the service.

They bet we wouldn't play this song on the radio, but we did anyhow.

We close the show with another rare track I recovered during a massive CD ripping project earlier this week.

That does it for another show. See you next time.

Blart Radio for August 1, 2009

2009-08-02T21:33:30Z

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In this week's episode:

We start things off with proof that Christian rock can actually sound great.

Learn about dairy cola, bacon beer, and onion soda.

The listener we discussed last week is now out of jail.

You won't believe who supposedly has a criminal record now. Here's a hint: it's one of the Blart Radio hosts.

We play a special song for Karen's new cat, Weasel followed by another for a listener who loathes ice cream.

After cleaning out my desk this afternoon, I discovered all kinds of great items.

Learn about the Easy Crunch from a cassette of a local morning show I digitized nine years ago.

Hear about John's famous hot dog, bacon, and bologna burrito.

Seven months into her first presidential term, Corona finally has a federal proposal. It involves, beer, of course.

Hear about some old police pranks and a disturbing 911 call from early 1991.

Canadian beer has some interesting names.

Among the disks I recovered today was a song my uncle recorded several years ago. For the first time ever, we air "God of Blubber."

We discuss our accents, how they transform, and how even native southerners can become exasperated by their peers.

We unveil a jazzy demo from Karen's upcoming album.

Did something happen to you? If so, you can sue. Find out how.

As of a few days ago, Karen now has a job again.

What happens when you accidentally dip pizza rolls in chocolate?

Find out what strange items I discovered in my filing cabinets today. I give a plausible explanation for said item's placement, but nobody buys it.

Meet Ninja, a character that inspired our very own Kung Fu Docta.

Finally, hear an ad for a special album that every obscure music lover must have.

That's it for this week. See you next Saturday night.

Blart Radio for July 25, 2009

2009-08-02T21:32:25Z

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In this week's contribution to the TBRN broadcast marathon:

We start things off with a special dedication to Derek, his credit card, and too many puppies.

John managed to pull off a 40-hour broadcast this week. Hear all about it and what happened when it finally ended.

One of our listeners is in jail after kidnapping someone's dog... again. An appropriate Wesley Willis track follows this anouncement.

John got some corn stuck in his teeth. Ren and Stimpy therefore sing to us about All Cob's Eve.

We once again debate about which Nightwish singer is better.

Listen to what garbage sounds like when it literally falls sideways.

Corona and her eight clones sing their now famous song about taking out the garbage.

Two Karens and I then sing about BB guns.

As we continue to recap past Blart Radio productions, we play the bits recorded during Ed and Corona's presidential race-- including the Blart March, presidential ads, Corona meeting with her foreign counterparts at a bar, and Ed's remixed techno dance track.

We explain Blart Radio's name and why some of the TBRN services no longer exist.

We next travel back in time to 2006 when John and I repeatedly played a certain 30-second long song to the point where Karen got very annoyed, sent in a flood of messages, and got kicked out of AOL. The audio is hillarious.

Ever wondered what two Donald Ducks quacking "Ridin Dirty" might sound like?

Learn where the "stealing your soul" bit came from.

Corona's presidential acceptance speech is then heard.

Finally, we play a song about a little fly for a listener's former, filthy room mate.

That does it for this week. See you in August.

Blart Radio for July 18, 2009

2009-08-02T21:31:24Z

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In this week's show:

Due to some technical difficulties, we started the show forty minutes late.

Hear about our interesting trip to Florida.

Karen unintentionally invents a new way to measure one's age. How many babies old are you?

John expounds on the joys of a shrimp restaurant in Florida.

What did John blow all of his money on?

During one of our family jam sessions, we performed some Roger Alan Wade tunes. Even though we don't have any recordings of the event, we play the original songs to which my very own mother sang along-- explicit lyrics and all.

Meet ongo Curt, the world's most beat up superhero ever.

John keeps everything in his wallet. An IHOP receipt from 2005 is found, but the text is too faded for us to find out what he ate.

This coming Monday marks the 40th aniversarry of the first moon landing. We play a few appropriate tracks, including the first radio transmission made from our orbiting neighbor.

We play with all of the rediculous and hillarious ringers I've made for my phone.

Unexpected sample rate mismatches yield a five-year-old Corona, slowed down music, and all of the amusing nonsense that goes along with it.

Learn why my nephew's favorite word is "youd."

Just when you think the show is at an end, I've put in a surprise for you faithful podcast listeners.

That wraps it up for this week. Be sure to tune into John's 40-hour broadcast this Tuesday night at 6:00, The Mix with Karen on Wednesday night at 10, and the rest of the TBRN broadcast marathon. See you next week.

Two New Old Time Radio Sites

2009-07-17T03:25:42Z

In 2008, I posted several articles about the wealth of old time radio programs available at www.archive.org. Unfortunately, one of the site's main contributors has left and is deleting everything he uploaded. While you can still find quite a bit of excellent radio on the site, much of the really good matter is gone.

All, thankfully, is not lost. I discovered two monumentally gigantic sites tonight that have been put together in response to the dramatic reduction at the internet archive. If you have a hankering for entertainment from yesteryear, head on over to either Phil's Old Time Radio Site or TennesseeBills OTR. The latter boasts over 500 GB of freely available content with another 300 on the way.

Happy listening.

Blart Radio for July 4, 2009

2009-07-05T03:55:12Z

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In this week's episode:

Today is the United States of America's 233rd birthday. As such, many a patriotic song is played.

John and I performed with two others this morning for the city parade. Although the levels were a bit high on some of the tracks, we manage to find a few to showcase our gig.

The troublesome enclosure that houses our production drive has been replaced. The horrible grinding noise is gone, and the drive came with some useful extras.

Learn the details of John's self-induced software surgery on his laptop.

Corona makes her appearance... with somebody's car keys in hand.

Karen bought John a special surprise at her local art fair. For the first time on radio, you can hear how redneck wind chimes sound.

We introduce a new show, "The Mix," which airs on Wednesday nights from 10 to midnight.

After some more chatter, we play a song a friend, John, and I wrote to commemorate September 11, 2001.

What do terminally ill flies have in common with IHOP?

As is also tradition, Seamus Kennedy makes an appearance to pay tribute to our armed forces.

A listener (who claims to be high on antibiotics) writes in with some very interesting commentary about one of the cohosts.

Learn all about Lola, the special person who tried to stalk me a couple years back.

After one final track from today's gig, we close out with a live fireworks demonstration from Karen.

That does it for this week. We will be on vacation for the next seven days, but we will be back in two weeks. See you all then.

Blart Radio for June 27, 2009

2009-06-28T02:46:51Z

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In this week's episode:

We start the show off with a pseudo-tribute to Michael Jackson.

Both Window-Eyes 7.1 and Miranda IM 0.8.1 were released this week. Users of both products are highly urged to upgrade.

My storage drive's enclosure sounds like an electric generator. We let you hear it to judge for yourself if it's dying or not.

John and I describe some memorable events that occured last night with some intoxicated friends.

A Benny Bell classic is dedicated to Karen's new box fan.

On a similar topic, Karen tells us all about the mishaps she and her family have been having with their antique air conditioners.

What are the strangest, or most alarming, sounds by which we've been awakened recently?

A listener sends in a track that details Worf's revenge.

Who is Michel and Mikhail Jackson?

To commemorate Ed McMan's passing, we play a classic Johnny Carson sketch featuring Jack Webb.

Karen's paper shredder sounds similar to the original flying sound effect for the Superman radio show from the 1940's. We give a side-by-side demo.

We are sick and tired of hearing about the new IPhone. We rant rather extensively about it.

We play a video Derek sent in that shows someone dropping his IPhone into a swimming pool.

We play three brief songs recorded by Simpsons vocalist Kip Lennon.

Will there ever be a "Best of Blart Radio" CD? Only if the listener interest exists.

We introduce a new show, "The Mix," that will air on Wednesday nights from 10:00 to midnight. Check it out, especially if you keep up with today's more mainstream music.

Finally, find out why I really need to learn when and when not to press the mute button.

That's it for another week. See you on July 4.

Window-Eyes 7.1 Is Out

2009-06-26T17:49:39Z

The long wait is finally over. Existing Window-Eyes 7.0X users can download the free update right here.

Blart Radio for June 24, 2009

2009-06-25T04:08:06Z

Click here to download.

On the first episode of the summer:

We catch you up on where we've been for the last few weeks.

Love Land, China's up and coming adult theme park, was demolished just two days after we covered the story. Could the Chinese government be listening?

Find out why a listener is laughing at us, and nothing, at the same time.

Dream Theater's latest album, "Dark Clouds & Silver Linings," was released yesterday.

Death metal then meets your shower (or tries to).

We briefly cover the latest in talking telephone news, including a brief plug for an IPhone 3GS demo that Brandon H broadcast earlier this afternoon.

It's hot all over the U.S.

How can strawberries be classified as evil villains?

Our favorite brown dog has been sick, but is thankfully doing much better today.

The original, and only good, musicians from Evanescence are back as We Are The Fallen, and they are recording an album. We play a single from the group's website.

Jerry Clower helps us commemorate Monday's tragic metro crash in Washington, D.C.

Our treadmill sounds like it's dying. To prove a point, I briefly run on it to demonstrate the clacking, clonking noise that greets anyone who dares to use it.

John and I briefly discuss some of our old time radio favorites and recommend a few series to check out.

We then take a trip back in time to one of the D.C. metro rides I recorded when I lived in our nation's capitol.

Despite their social oddities, idiot savants have some truly remarkable abilities.

One of our listeners consumed 34 8-OZ cups of coffee today. That's 272 ounces, or just over 2 gallons.

What ever happened to Lonely Beer?

Finally, Mr. Brown devours some fortune cookies on the air.

That does it for this episode. We will be back on the air at our usual time this Saturday night. See you then.

Window-Eyes 7.1 Beta 1 is out

2009-06-09T17:36:12Z

It's live, and you can click here to get it. All kinds of enhancements, including 64-bit support, Windows 7 support, scripting additions, and lots of new braille goodies are just a download away. Oh, and many bug fixes, too. Have fun.

Vacation, Employment, and Tweeting

2009-05-21T21:49:39Z

It seems that other than my weekly radio show summaries, the only time I write in this blog is when I'm about to travel, in the midst of being on the road, or when I get home from vacationing. To be fair, these are usually the only times when anything noteworthy occurs. And who am I to break with tradition? Yes; once more, I'm about to head north for a couple weeks to escape the Texas heat. And to celebrate, I'm going to cover a few brief topics I've investigated for the last few months.

Employment. Remember that word? Lots of folks, including yours truly, haven't had it for quite some time since the massive layoffs began last Fall. Frankly, it's a bummer, and things are only going to get worse before they get better. The good news is that there are still a few options out there-- even for persons with disabilities. Desperation has led me to several recruitment agencies and online job sites. The first, Bender Consulting Services, seeks to assist the technically-oriented find work. I can speak from personal experience that these guys are the real deal and believe whole-heartedly in what they're doing. I strongly urge any unemployed geek types get in touch with Bender; you may get a break.

The next place I investigated looked promising. The goal of NTI is to help disabled folk gain employment as work-at-home customer service agents for various companies around the United States. One caveot they try to hide, however, is that they don't have any interest in helping blind job seekers. They claim that the software that the customer service agents use isn't the least bit compatible with screen readers. I frankly have no idea if this is true or not. My attempts to follow up with the company on what constitutes accessibility have gone completely ignored. Frankly, a maximum of $9 an hour isn't worth my time fighting over. However, if you aren't blind but have some other type of disability, then these folks may be able to help you.

The next place I've been poking around is Flex Jobs. They specialize in sifting through telecommuting work all over America and make it very easy to build resumes, profiles, and apply for these jobs. I haven't heard back from the various companies to which I applied, but the job site itself isn't to blame for that. A subscription is required, but I can assure any readers interested in remote work that it will be money well spent.

Finally, I came across Cyber Coders about a week ago. This site is free to use, and like Flex Jobs, offers a lot of positions around the country and eases the resume submission and application process. Definitely give this place a look if you're technically minded.

Aside from job hunting, I've also been sucked into the land of Twitter. I honestly didn't see the point of it last year, but I finally understand its appeal and like having it around. I won't link to my profile here, but it should be easy enough to figure out. And if you can't, drop me a line, and I'll let you know whom to follow. One thing I like about these social networking sites is the wide array of tools with which I can access them. On the desktop side, I've linked my LJ Talk/Jabber ID to Tweet.IM. Twitter shows up as a contact in my message list, and with the flexibility I enjoy with Miranda IM, I can keep in touch with virtually everyone out there inside one program. On the mobile side, I've become a real fan of Twinkini. This small, no-nonsense Twitter client is amazingly well designed and makes tweeting a real treat, or should I say tweet? Tracking my timeline is much easier than slogging through the mobile Twitter site in Pocket IE, and I don't have to send text messages to update my status anymore. Plus, the client can do some other cool things like geocaching if you want to broadcast your GPS position to the rest of planet Earth. It also stays alert in the background and chirps at you when new tweets arrive. And for the MobileSpeak Pocket users out there, this puppy is accessible right out of the box. That can't be said for the majority of Windows Mobile apps out there, so my hat's off to the program's developers for doing it right.

There are also some cool things coming in the land of Windows assistive tech, and I should be able to talk about them soon. In the mean time, the above should keep you busy until I post again. I will endeavor to update the blog more often, but only time will tell if I manage to do so with any regular frequency.

Blart Radio for May 16, 2009

2009-05-17T22:37:11Z

Click here to download.

Highlights from this week's episode include:

I turned some clips of my nephew trying to talk to Mr. Microphone into an ID for the show. One listener thought he was saying Michael Phelps instead.

The long lost quarter has been found.

Our Canadian neighbors like to flavor barbecue and spaghetti sauces with beer. Two listeners describe the concoction.

Let's all go huggin and chalkin in the guise of crazed 1947 dancers.

We take Ed out of his drawer so he can read to us about Love Land, China's newest theme park.

We play some wind-laden recordings from a Rivers West gig this past Wednesday in front of the Denton County court house.

Despite my substancial sunburn from that day, I can still gloat that there are members of my family who burn more quickly, and are consequently paler, than me.

I mess around with a ringtone I made earlier this week in Sound Forge. The result is certainly unusual.

We then take a recording of my nephew and alter the size of his head along with the pitch of his voice.

Since we had a very full house tonight, I next take the microphone around the first floor to let you hear a snapshot of the festive atmosphere.

What do shoes and lonely beers have in common?

The first Academy Awards were handed out today in 1929. Monty Python helps us mark the event.

Hear a difficult-to-understand limeric.

Learn more about the swivel chair I want to destroy.

Finally, who, or what, is the love-matic grandpa?

That wraps it up for this week. I'm headed north for a couple of weeks, so Blart Radio's schedule may be a bit lopsided while I'm away. Stay tuned to the TBRN website and our usual messengers to learn when we will next be on the air. See you next time.

Blart Radio for May 9, 2009

2009-05-10T02:51:24Z

Click here to download.

In this week's show:

We start things off with a track that is slightly related to Mother's Day.

Why is John so POed tonight?

We heartily welcome some new listeners. In the process of talking with them, we explain why we refuse to run Skype.

Find out what Crystal Beer is.

Karen's grandmother moved today. We play a song dedicated to the move and the reason behind it.

Ever wondered what the news would sound like if it were autotuned to a R&B track?

Find out where Venison88 has gone.

We're always looking for new broadcast tallent. Drop me a line if you're interested in joining the station.

Hear what Karen's 14-year-old birthday hamster sounds like.

We play an odd mashup between a well-known rap artist and a classic rock group.

To commemorate the release of Star Trek XI, we play a strange parody john and I created back in 2000 with Microsoft Sound Recorder, a broken tape recorder, and some game sound effects.

Do Eric Idle and Wesley Willis appreciate their mothers? We don't know about Mr. Idle, but Wesley definitely doesn't.

Hear an autotuned rendition of President Obama and.... a cow?

Some of our listeners don't like the emergency alert sequence. Even so, we have some fun with it.

Despite our various visual impairments, we explain why we don't like to dwell on blindness-specific material.

John, the world's biggest fan of twirling, has a new swivel chair waiting for him in Michigan.

Our favorite brown dog had an interesting adventure yesterday.

Finally, Venison88 and Clay write in with some delightfully inappropriate commentary before we sign off.

That's it for this episode. Stay tuned for the next dose in just under seven days.